Author: Jordan Peterson, professor of psychology at the University of Toronto in Canada, clinical psychologist, an expert on the Big Five personality. Mainly research abnormal psychology, social psychology and personality psychology. His experience is rich and varied. He has worked as a dishwasher, gas station employee, chef, beekeeper, oil field worker, railroad worker; he also flew high-altitude aerobatics in carbon fiber aerobatics. The Twelve Rules of Life Rule 1: The winning lobster never stands upright with its head down, and the lobster that wins in a fight with its head held high will produce more serotonin and less octopamine. Lobsters with high serotonin and low octopamine tend to become arrogant, and most likely will not shrink when faced with challenges. Like lobsters, people will evaluate each other’s state of denial based on their body posture. Mental standing straight, with your head high, means opening your eyes to see clearly the important tasks of life. Be cautious of your posture and stop hovering. Say what you think and pursue what you ask, this is the right that you and others have the same. Stand tall, look straight ahead, and take risks so that your nerve pathways can be filled with much-needed serotonin. And the abundant flow of serotonin in the body makes you calm, confident, and upright. Get out of the loser mode. When being bullied, express resistance firmly and clearly. With this confidence, you will accept and strive to optimize your existence. Such courage will start your life journey, light up your life, and help you pursue the right direction in life. When your life has meaning, you will no longer feel despair and fear because of the finiteness of your life. Then you can accept the burden of this world and find happiness. I hope you can get inspiration from the wisdom that Victorious Lobster has practiced for 350 million years. Rule 2: Caring about yourself like caring for a sick pet Treat yourself like helping others treat yourself like helping others, which means you need to choose things that are really good for you, even if these things are not necessarily what you want or make you happy , Because happiness does not necessarily equal happiness. Human beings deserve respect, and you deserve respect. You are important to yourself and others. You play an important role in the development of the world. Therefore, you are morally obligated to take care of yourself as you take care of your loved ones. You need to respect your own existence. Knowing yourself. The evil tendency of human beings is the most terrible, and the boundaries between good and evil crisscross everyone’s heart. Keeping all dangerous things out will create a dangerous situation: people will not be able to touch any interesting and challenging things, and they will eventually become useless giant babies. People are not flawless. Idealized perfection will make everyone feel ashamed. Self-esteem is most important. If we want to take good care of ourselves, we must first have self-esteem. You need to aim to become a better person. Good things will not come automatically, we need to work hard to strengthen ourselves. Take yourself seriously, redefine yourself, cultivate your personality, choose your goals, and be clear about your existence. Cultivate a sense of morality, responsibility, self-awareness and mutually beneficial qualities, recognize yourself and take care of yourself, and sincerely care for others. Rule 3: Give up on damaging friends and make friends with people who sincerely hope you are good. When a person has a low sense of self-worth or refuses to take responsibility for his life, he will choose to be friends with those whose lives are already messed up. Bad habits are contagious, but self-discipline and stability are not, because it is much easier to fall than to forge ahead. Loyalty needs to be based on fairness and honesty, and friendship should be the result of mutual benefit. You are not obligated to support someone who makes the world worse. You should choose friends who are motivated and beneficial to you. This is not selfish, but to make each other better. If you are surrounded by people who support you, then they will not tolerate your cynical or broken attitude. They will encourage you to be kind to yourself and others, and will cautiously spur you at the right time to strengthen your determination to do things seriously. You should remain humble, courageous and independent thinking, and avoid unnecessary sympathy and compassion. It is no easier to be friends with kind and motivated people than with bad and decadent people, because the former represents an ideal, and it takes strength and courage to walk with them. Rule 4: Conquer your inner critics and compare yourself with yesterday, don’t compare with others today. Maybe you overestimate what you don’t have and underestimate what you have. The real benefit of gratitude is that it can help you resist the mentality of resentment victims and learn to guide yourself to do sustainable and valuable things. What you pursue determines what you see. You have to get together before you see
In the process of consultation, I often heard some girls, telling me their worries, “I am introverted, not good at expressing, in interpersonal communication, I am very passive, the number of friends is pitiful, and I am not willing to do much. People who talk to themselves are very cherished, but because they are too afraid to lose, so they have always been pleased with each other. No matter what requirements, they are unconditionally accepted. Sometimes they know that they do n’t like it in their hearts, but in order to These few friends still chose to endure. “The hearts of these little girls are very eager to one day, they can get more friendship, more kindness, always afraid of being alone, afraid of going to the study room alone. It is also a shame to be afraid to go to the cafeteria for dinner alone. It seems that there are no friends. However, be aware that friends who are exchanged for grievances often cannot last long. This kind of price is too high. To grieve yourself to cater to others, you will not be really happy if you have friends. In interpersonal relationships, true friends are like-minded, like three views, mutual appreciation and mutual support, and friends are mutual, not relying on the patience of one party in exchange. What I want to say is, don’t be afraid to lose your friends because of being yourself and sticking to your own ideas. Don’t forget this kind of friendship that you have to get wronged. Be yourself, there is nothing wrong with introverts, and there is nothing wrong with not being good at expression. Many researchers and researchers are not very good at expressing. It is good enough that they only do what they are good at. You too. There is a saying that if you bloom, the breeze will come. When you only be yourself and live the most authentic self, your appearance is the most beautiful and lovely. There will always be someone one day, and you will meet friends who share your three views and like minds. If you haven’t met them now, it doesn’t matter, it means the time has not yet arrived. Don’t worry, just wait slowly. Many times, we do not know who will meet in the next second, because the god of destiny arranges himself in the underworld. All you have to do is try to do your best before meeting your true friends. There is a rule called the law of attraction. The law of attraction is a natural law. Simply put, what you want and what you attract will lead a life. Because the resonance at the same frequency attracts the same quality, the frequency caused by your mental state and your emotions will attract things of the same frequency. So there will be misfortunes, not just one, so there will be poorer people and richer people. What needs to be emphasized is that the law of attraction is not a pie in the sky, not only the idea of change, but also the action of change. For example, to spend hard time to please other time, to read, as the saying goes, the book has a fragrant fragrance, a quiet and connotative girl, even if she does n’t like to talk, is not good at expression, and sits quietly, It’s a beautiful scenery. Such a girl, why worry about having no friends?