Foreword: “Derailment” often becomes a “frequent visitor” on hot searches. While “eating melons”, many netizens can’t help but sigh “no longer believe in love”. The writer Mu Xin once said: In the past, cars were slow, only enough to love one person in his life. However, nowadays, the days of “one house, two people, three meals, four seasons” and the enduring love seem to be a luxury. Why is it so difficult to maintain loyalty in love? Some people say that there are only 0 and countless derailments. As long as there is one derailment, there will be countless times afterwards. Is this statement true? Why do people cheat? The truth of the derailment: only 0 and countless times Helen Fisher, an American biological anthropologist and senior researcher at the Kinsey Institute, once pointed out in his book “Why We Marry and Why Are We Unfaithful” that men and women all over the world Extramarital sex is very common. ① In the book “Kinsey Sexology Report” written by American biologist and sexologist Alfred Kinsey, it was pointed out in a sample of 6,427 men that more than one-third of their husbands had betrayed Wives; among the 6,972 married, divorced and widowed American women, 26% had sex outside of marriage before the age of 40. Even more unfortunately, research has proved that “there are only 0 and numerous derailments.” A study published in the American Journal of “Archives of Sexual Behavior” followed up and investigated the situation of 484 participants in the relationship between men and women. The researchers asked participants to report their “split” relationship, including “have sex with someone other than their partner” and “whether they suspect that their partner is unfaithful in a marriage relationship”. They found that they had ever had an infidelity in their relationship. People are 3 to 4 times more likely to cheat in the next relationship than others. And for those who know that their former partner has cheated themselves, their next partner is still twice as likely to cheat. Suspicion is difficult to eliminate, because those who doubt their first partner will be four times more likely to suspect that their partner will still cheat in subsequent relationships. Why do people cheat? The research team of Pan Suiming, the founder and honorary director of the Institute of Sexual Sociology of Renmin University of China, has conducted four consecutive nationwide random sampling surveys every 5 years since 2000 ② to investigate married/cohabiting people The proportion of people who have had an affair, the result shows: From 2000 to 2015, this proportion is rising rapidly. In 2000, the male derailment rate was 11.8%, which had doubled in 2015; the female derailment rate had also tripled in 15 years. Moreover, 40% of one-night stands exist in the circle of acquaintances, and the two sides will not cut off contact due to the one-night stand, and one-third of the people still have contact after passion. By 2015, about one out of every three husbands and 7.5 wives had cheated. In the field of biology, there is the famous “Coolidge effect”, that is, every male mammal will feel bored to a single heterosexual partner, but if it is a new heterosexual partner, the male animal will continue to show high sexual impulses. Scientists initially experimented with white mice. They put a male mouse and 4 or 5 female mice in estrus together, and the male mouse mates with several female mice until exhausted. Afterwards, no matter how the female rat touched and begged for joy, the male rat no longer responded. However, when the new female rat came in, the male rat immediately regained energy and regained energy to mate with the female rat. In the same way, human men experience a refractory period after sex, and cannot have sex with the same woman immediately, but if they face different women, their refractory period will shorten or even disappear completely. Some experts believe that this may be one of the main reasons why many people cheat.
On the Internet, some people often feel inferior because of the short time of “bed exercise”, and some people even suspect that they are “date crabs”. According to the results of the Diagnostic Scale (PEDT), most of them do not meet the diagnostic criteria for time control disorders. In other words, the vast majority of people put on themselves a “date crab” hat. Speaking with real data, you may be long enough! According to reports, a research institution once conducted a sample survey on the time of Western people’s “bed exercise” and found that the average time for British men is 7 minutes and 36 seconds, American time is 7 minutes, and Spanish is 5.8 Minutes, the Dutch have only 5.1 minutes. Among them, the average time that males aged 18-30 can persist is 6.5 minutes. Seeing here, it is estimated that many people will be shocked, but these data can still reflect the actual situation more objectively. You should know that in the 1950s, Dr. Kinsey found that 75% of men actually persisted for less than 2 minutes. The length of time should not be used to talk about heroes! The sexual life between the partners should be whether harmony is the first priority. That is to say, whether the two parties can experience fun and pleasure, and whether they can meet satisfaction is the best standard for measurement. If the time of substantial contact in the same room is too long, not only will the sense of fatigue increase, but also the energy and physical strength will be more difficult to recover. Therefore, the pursuit of time alone is neither scientific nor desirable.