Any physical disease has quite a lot of psychological significance. Perceive oneself, get close to oneself, and explore the relationship between body and mind. Everyone will be more or less troubled by disease throughout his life. We always think that disease is a trouble and the enemy of health. In fact, there are no unprovoked diseases. Most of the diseases are “made by ourselves”. Every disease is a kind of language, and it represents an inner emotion that we have been suppressed and ignored for a long time. They are just signals, through manifesting illnesses to let us see and pay attention to the real problems within us. When we see the root cause of the disease, the task of the disease is completed, and it will gradually heal. Therefore, when we have some discomfort or disease, the real problem is not the disease itself, but the internal stasis revealed by it. Illness allows you to embark on this inner journey through it: to see, to face yourself seriously, to treat yourself well, and to heal yourself. When you are willing to face the disease and listen to it with your heart, the inner roots will begin to heal slowly.  .· .01 .· . Illness and emotional illness and health, this is a problem that everyone will face sooner or later. First of all I want to talk about what a disease is. I will explain this by distinguishing your different bodies: In addition to the physical body that everyone can see, you also have an emotional body and a spiritual body.  . Some diseases are emotional blockages caused by beliefs in the mind and body, and will eventually manifest as diseases. What I’m talking about here are those deep-rooted beliefs or inertia of thinking, generally those about your own right and wrong beliefs. These judgments about right and wrong will create stasis in your emotional energy system. The place where the stasis appears is where the emotional energy cannot flow freely. Before it manifests as a disease, you still have enough opportunities to transform yourself into an emotionally balanced state. Generally speaking, your emotions will tell you that your emotional energy is suppressed and needs to be expressed and released. When you notice this information and respect it, and improve depression, those stasis will be slowly released. For example, every time you have to do something, you feel irritated and angry. If you carefully observe this emotion, then you will find that it is telling you: you are forcing yourself to do something you don’t like. However, if you always ignore your anger, force yourself to do things that make you unhappy, and deceive yourself, then this emotion is stuck. It will gradually accumulate in the body and eventually form a disease. Therefore, depressed emotions will hope to be released. Once it begins to express itself in the body, the disease appears.  .· .02 .· . Diseases prompt you to be healed. Generally speaking, every disease points to an internal emotional problem that has been ignored for a long time. The physical symptoms make the emotional problems visible to you on another level, which is actually helping you get in touch with these stasis. Therefore, the disease has a suggestive effect: it points you to areas that need healing. Although you are plagued by various symptoms and pains, which seem negative, we should treat the disease as a message or instruction. In this way, it is easier to cooperate with the disease instead of resisting it. The body communicates with you in many ways. It likes to talk to you through intuition: including subtle emotions, hunches, inner voices, etc. If this method does not work, you will be warned by emotions. Emotionally speak loudly, and they tell you unmistakably: You must look into your heart to find the reason for the emotional reaction! Whenever you are seriously disturbed by emotions, you must find its cause and meaning. As long as you calm down and listen carefully, emotions will tell you the answer. If you resist or deny your emotions, your body will speak to you through illness. The body is intelligent. It not only responds highly sensitively to the substances it absorbs (such as food and water), but also responds equally sensitively to your emotions, feelings and thoughts. The body is a communication tool between us and the mind. It is not just a shell for us to live in. It also has a set of intelligent systems that can help the heart express and understand its own problems.  .· .03 .· .
I shared a case of a visitor: In her daily life, she has a very good and gentle temper. However, there is a special situation that makes her emotionally out of control and furious. That is, as long as others disappear without saying hello to her, she will be very angry. For example: I was chatting with my friend on WeChat, and suddenly he didn’t reply; or when I was dating a lover, it was obviously time, but the other party did not show up. Once, her boyfriend was 10 minutes late, and because of the bad signal on the subway, she did not receive her call. She was extremely angry and fired at the other party. She looked like two people in peace. Friends around her often spit out her half-jokingly, don’t disappear with her, otherwise she will transform into a “Tyrannosaurus”. She was very distressed: Why am I doing this? Can you get rid of this problem? There are deep psychological reasons behind any superficial behavior. Why can’t get a response make her so angry? Are you worried? But her boyfriend was only 10 minutes late, not very long. Because of boredom? But a person can pass the time by swiping his phone, going shopping, and doing anything. Under my step-by-step guidance, she expressed her true feelings in her heart: “I was scared and felt abandoned.” It turned out that when she was very young, about three or four years old, her mother was very Busy, there is no way to take care of her all the time. So, her mother took her to grandma’s house and wanted to put her there. But adults know that she must be unwilling to tell the truth to such a small child. So my mother told her that we were going to play at grandma’s house. You obediently take a nap, wake up and eat your favorite watermelon. She fell asleep very well and woke up expectantly, only to find that when she opened her eyes, not only was there no watermelon, her mother was gone, and there was only her old grandmother like a stranger. When she was young, she cried loudly, but she didn’t get her mother’s back. This incident left a hidden trauma to her soul. As an adult, as long as she encounters similar things, the panic of being left behind in her childhood will be unknowingly aroused. However, as a child, she could only cry helplessly. As an adult, she covered this scar through anger and venting emotions to the other party. There is a word in psychology called “potential psychological trauma”, which refers to the harm that seemingly ordinary and even inconspicuous things in the process of growing up bring you invisibly. This kind of trauma is not as severe as traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), but it is more common. It is hidden in a certain corner of your subconscious mind, manipulating your behavior, and making your life fall into an inexplicable vicious circle. Maybe you have had a similar experience before, but you don’t know the reason behind your behavior: you are very good, but you always lose your self-confidence instantly because of a negative word from others; you obviously don’t like the excitement, but you subconsciously force yourself to blend into the crowd; I want to change the status quo, but I don’t take any action, and I procrastinate day after day…You and me in life, like the lady, are affected by the potential trauma in my heart without knowing it. How can I save myself? Psychological counseling can give you very good help.  .The poet Rumi once said that a wound is where light enters your heart. In psychological counseling, the counselor uses listening, understanding, empathy, acceptance and other methods to accompany you to explore yourself together. Potential trauma, when you can’t see it, is certainly a wound, but when you see it, it is also when you read your heart. From a psychological point of view, behind every kind of trauma, there are unsatisfied psychological needs in your heart: fear of being abandoned is because you desire to be valued; fear of being denied is because you want to be To be affirmed, to see your own value; to be afraid of change, because you want to gain the pleasure of controlling your life through certainty… Only by seeing those inconspicuous traumas that have kept your life stagnant again and again, and satisfying needs, In order to heal yourself, and this is also the beginning of self-awareness, perhaps it will open up new possibilities in your life.
Many people have experienced a terrible childhood, parental accusations, unfair treatment, parental quarrels, marriage breakdown. As a counselor, I have heard stories from many people who have experienced childhood trauma. Among them, many stories revolve around abuse, either physical, sexual, or psychological. In the process of listening, I always noticed some very common laws. Many of my visitors have the same or similar problems. They have all experienced what their parents have experienced from their parents. Of course, this is not the whole story. There are many parents who have created even more surprising stories, and they are not completely paying their own experiences to their children. Imagine grandfathers, fathers, and sons are fighting alcohol addiction and aggressive problems; many family members are fighting diabetes and obesity; grandmothers, mothers, and daughters have been married twice, three times, and four times. The subjects are exactly the same; everyone in the family has trust issues; many people in the family are experiencing depression or anxiety. I really hope that I will have a happy life. What is the reason for them to fall into this cycle of abuse? It is their inner insecurity, inner fear, inner emotions, inner unhealthy self, and inner identification with their parents, so they repeat their parents’ past. How to stop yourself from falling into the sad circle of childhood trauma? 1. Self-acceptance. There is only one you, which is actually very good, you will never be copied. From the way you look at the problem to the way you walk, to the way you interact with others, and even to the way your heart beats, including all of you, you are different from others. Accept all your parts. Maybe some parts of you are what you want to get rid of, for example, the parts where you feel various emotions, or the parts of children you have endured for a long time. We must be comfortable with all of ourselves, not some parts. 2. Reveal who you are. When you start to see yourself in a broader way, you will begin to experience freedom. The revelation of oneself may be shocking, which includes both fear and excitement. Once you start to realize who you are, you no longer eager to be accepted and known. Being able to know yourself in a suitable position, whether you do it or not, you will be valuable. It has nothing to do with what you do, but with who you are. 3. Rest. When we learn to just be ourselves, rest will come naturally. You will no longer seek endlessly. When your emotions are running, you can’t rest for a while. Being yourself will give you a rest in silence and loneliness, and no longer be trapped by fear and anxiety. Through self-adjustment and psychological counseling at the same time, you will heal your trauma and get out of this vicious circle.
01 “Why am I always tired?” I often feel inexplicably tired and have a profound sense of powerlessness, which is a common problem of modern adults. Life is stressful, busy and busy but feels confused, empty, and depressed; no matter how hard you try, it seems that you are always stuck in a place and you are not getting a promotion and salary increase; every relationship seems to repeat the same mistakes, uneasiness, quarrel , Cold War; Sensitive inferiority complex, want to break through but always die without disease… as if an uncontrolled child is living in his heart, pulling himself desperately. If you want to move forward, it has to move backward; if you want to challenge yourself, it has to fear retreat; if you want to calm down, it has to cry and collapse. You blame it for its immaturity, but it cries more fiercely. In fact, these inner entanglements and struggles are caused by your inner child. Psychology calls it: inner child. It is calling for help, eager to be seen and loved by you. 02 The inner child doesn’t grow up. We can’t grow up even if we try hard. Everyone lives with a child who doesn’t grow up. No matter in childhood or adulthood, when it doesn’t get enough care and love, it will cry in the corner and become a murky child. It will dominate your brain: it will make your thinking unclear and easy to be emotional. When you are unsatisfied, when others disagree with you, when things go against your wishes… make you angry, sad, panic, or even develop into depression, anxiety and other physical and mental diseases; it will exacerbate you The original family contradiction: double the love you lost in your childhood in the form of rebellion, indifference, resistance to communication, etc. to “repay” your parents; it will destroy your intimacy: make you lack security, love Be cautious, afraid to lose, often used as a favor, in exchange for your partner’s care; it will disrupt your work: you will not be confident in your work, you are always afraid of doing wrong things, dare not refuse, dare not fight, and affect your judgment And decision-making, “drag your hind legs” at critical moments; it will also be passed on to your children: over time, it will infuse emotionality, vulnerability, delay, inferiority, etc. into your character, and at the same time, In the process of getting along with the child, it is imperceptibly “hered” to your child… And the more we ignore it, the more we suppress it, the inner child will be more frustrated and resistant, as if it were an endless cycle, making you lose your good personality, Good relationship, good life. Because the inner child’s needs are not satisfied, her emotions are not released, and her values are not affirmed, she will squat there crying and stop growing. The inner child is like the shortest board of the barrel of our life. It doesn’t grow up, we can’t grow even if we try harder. So Jung said: “The inner child is the light above all light and the leader of healing.” Only when the inner child is seen, healed, and grows happily and healthily with us, will our inner heart really grow, Really happy. 03 Always seeking reconciliation outside is better than staying with the inner child growing up on the road to self-healing, we always say “reconciliation with the original family”, “accepting the cruel world”, “embracing imperfect self”… but superficial Reconciliation and acceptance are more like begging for fish and tickling each other. Growing up with the inner child is the deepest healing. A mother who has been insisting on healing inner children for a long time said: There is no easy word in the world of adults. Even if there is a pot of boiling water in the heart, the surface should be calm. And I will not. In the past, I was easily broken down, my feelings were cold, and my children were crying… The working family was so sad that after calming down, I had to rebuild on the ruins again and again. Now, I finally laid a solid foundation for myself, enough to cope with the storms in life. Because I have a magic weapon-talk to the baby in my heart. I return to my childhood once a week to look after the crying, lonely little girl and give her enough support, attention, praise and love. Now she has finally grown up, strong enough to be a good wife and mother. The child is a copy of the parents. The best gift I can give my daughter is to change my original copy. When I learn to love myself and take good care of myself, naturally, I can pass this love on to my children subtly without the need to deliberately try or imitate others. Your inner child is also waiting for you. She is waiting for you to hug her and tell her: “I’m here, don’t be afraid~” But this process is deep and long, and it needs a professional psychological counselor to reach the heart Deep, see and heal the inner child.
& nbsp. & nbsp. & nbsp. & nbsp. & nbsp. & nbsp. & nbsp. & nbsp. During consultations, there are often help-seekers saying that my marriage is in trouble, what do I need to do? The consultant said, “Change the original communication mode.” It can’t be changed and communication is impossible. Some people said: “My self-control is too poor, I also want to make myself self-disciplined, but I can’t do it?” What is the reason for it? Check out the story below. In the past, there was a prince, who was very handsome, but a camel. This defect made him very inferior. One day, the king invited the best sculptor in the country and carved a statue of a prince. The statue carved by the sculptor has no hump, and the back is straight. The king erected this statue in front of the prince’s palace. When the prince saw the statue in front of the palace gate, he felt a shock in his heart. A few months later, the people said: The hunchback of the prince is not as serious as it used to be. When the prince heard these words, his heart was inspired. One day, a miracle appeared, and when the prince stood, his back was straight, like a statue. Many of the defects of people are caused by their own psychology. It is the so-called “because the heart is born, the heart is destroyed by heart” What a person can become is because he believes in what he is. What are the main factors that change a person? Psychologists say: it is motivation, our internal driving force. What is the motivation? Literally, it means “the motivation to want to do something.” Psychologists define motivation as an internal driving force that keeps you moving toward your goal. Motivation is influenced not only by people’s craving for goals, but also to further encourage people to pursue goals. Anders Ericsson, a professor at Florida State University, said that motivation is the key to success, and successful people often have more lasting and strong motivations than others. In particular, the longer a thing needs to be sustained, the less talents and abilities are. On the contrary, the influence of motivation will become more and more important. Motivation can be divided into four types, all of which can affect our behavior in different ways and drive us to make changes. 1. Intrinsic-positive motivation: motivated from the heart to encourage us to make positive behaviors, such as challenges, expectations, passion, satisfaction, and self-identification, often can bring us a sense of accomplishment, value, and Consolidate our changes. 2. Extrinsic-positive motives: These motives include being appreciated and recognized by others, with financial rewards. They may bring some changes, but the influence is often short-lived. Whether change can last depends on whether the rewards given by the outside world are lasting. 3. Intrinsic-reverse motivation: driven by inner negative feelings, such as feeling threatened, afraid of failure, feeling of emptiness and insecurity. Changes caused by these motivations can easily recur after a certain period of time. 4. External-reverse motivation: driven by possible negative situations from the outside world, such as may not be respected by him, economic pressure, etc. Similarly, these motivations may make people successful, but they are also very likely to enter the relapse stage (the changes that are forced to make are easy to relapse). Among these four motives, the intrinsic-positive motive is the most ideal. It will make you more determined and last longer, because this driving force comes from your own strength and security. Therefore, if you want to change, why not make an assessment? What motivates you to change? What is the motivation to change myself?